As I lay on an old table in a tiny dark room at the back of the run-down salon, I could feel the sanitation paper crinkle underneath me. It only took a few moments before I realized I had made a terrible mistake.
The young girl stooping over me couldn’t have been more than 18 or 19 years old, and as she awkwardly twisted a fraying thread across my forehead, I could tell she had no idea what she was doing.
She had probably Googled “how to do eyebrow threading” and watched a youtube video for God’s sake.
Her long red hair dangled in my face.
I “phoofed” it away in an overdramatic fashion hoping she would notice and get her hair out of my Godamn face…
…but she didn’t move.
It was a tiny irritation, that tickle from a stranger’s follicles on my eyes, nose, and mouth.
“Gross” I thought.
But such a small thing compounded 10 fold because I knew that this bitch was BUTCHERING my eyebrows as I lay here on a suede hippie blanket that probably hadn’t been washed in at least 10 or 12 customers.
After multiple attempts at guiding her unskilled efforts ( rewarded with her waving her hands in my face and whispering “Calmate Calmate” ) I realized it was too late. We were half way through this debacle already.
Might as well let her finish now. My face was already doomed.
So I lay there and knew without a doubt, that she was unevenly pulling, snipping, shaving, plucking, away hundreds of tiny hairs that just don’t grow back these days…
I tried to Zen-the-Fuck out and tell myself that it ‘aint no big thang.
I’ve never been one to obsess over my appearance or spend more time than absolutely necessary getting ready in the morning. I got work to do! ‘Aint no time to play Barbie.
Besides – It’s just eyebrows, right?
Eyebrows don’t matter.
I blame PMS, overworking, and just a bad fucking day in general, but when that young, inexperienced woman held up the mirror and said “ta da!” ….. I cried.
I couldn’t help it. I felt like a huge loser but I sat there and cried about my eyebrows.
I should have stopped the fool! Too late.
At this point you probably want to say… “It’s just eyebrows bitch! They don’t matter. Get over it. And what does this have to do with marketing anyway?”
To which I would respond…
“Excuse me good sir. But sometimes eyebrows DO matter. They matter very fucking much.”
And then I would show you these pictures of celebrities without their eyebrows to prove my point.
That ‘aint no joke.
And I would tell you that, if anyone… ANYONE, had offered me a solution to fix my slaughtered eyebrows at that moment, I would have bought it right there on the spot and hugged them like they had given me their left kidney to save my life.
Because in that moment. I had a great need…. but I was also extremely EMOTIONAL.
And logically I KNOW that it’s not that big of a deal that that bitc…. I mean… ‘young professional still learning her craft’ absolutely destroyed my face.
And logically I KNOW I’m likely the only one who will even notice
(plot twist! no one cares about you as much as you think they do)
But EMOTIONALLY…. I was driven by chemicals and feelings that psychology tells us act like an “off switch” to logic… and I wanted to fix that problem more than anything else in that moment.
So if your offer or your product solves a seemingly mundane problem (what we marketers call a “green light” or “yellow light” problem) that isn’t bringing life-or-death pain….
…. and you need to instill some urgency and motivation for your audience to get it RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW…
Then think about how you can get them into an emotional state before showing them your sales message. (hint hint… write an emotionally-driven story that connects their problem to your offer)
Then you’ll have readers banging down your door to buy what you’re selling.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go paint on the rest of my eyebrows like a 50-year-old Latina Queen so I can leave the house today.
See you next time.
P.S. – When you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you create emotionally-driven stories that get people to take action
1. Learn how to warm up cold or skeptical audiences
My Advertorial 101 course teaches you step-by-step how to create pre-sale copy that warms up cold traffic and skeptical audiences. You can get that here.
2. Get help creating a strategy and action plan for your business
If you need help creating a marketing strategy, improving your sales copy, or developing a plan to grow your business, then book a 30 minute consulting call here.
3. Work with me one-on-one and get “done for you” sales copy
If you’d like me to personally craft persuasive sales copy for your business, then tell me a bit more about your business here.