I’ve got issues.
(Well, obviously.)
But in this case, I’m referring to IDENTITY issues.
You see, I’ve been an entrepreneur all my life.
From the time my little brain could conceptualize the concept of currency – I wanted to make as much money as possible, and do it MY way.
I started hustlin’ even before I hit double digits – hanging Avon books on doorknobs for my Mom around the neighborhood for candy cash.
And once I realized you could get paid for helping someone solve a problem – I was hooked.
So I started peddling stuff I found around the house on ebay (and quickly learned about business integrity when I sold a smashed discman as “gently used”)
Launched my first “official” business as a dog walker (Even made my own logo – which I’m sure would have won numerous awards if I had just gotten the exposure)
Hustled my way through highschool as a waitress (cash money baybee)…
Paid for college by scoring all the grants and scholarships that no one applied for…
Bartended in skeezy “VIP Lounges” in Chicago’s V1@gra Triangle (if you know, you know)…
Landed gigs as an actress in commercials and random educational videos
Got REALLY good at Flippy Cup and liberated college frat boys of their petty cash…
And eventually made my way through Australia, Thailand, Portugal, China, and more – chasing the “digital nomad” crowd as I learned everything I could about marketing, freelancing, and growing businesses online.
Somewhere along the way, being an entrepreneur became my entire identity.
Business was who I was. Everything about me revolved around that persona of the entrepreneur, the hustler, and freelancer, the business builder.
It was definitely an ego thing. And I loved every minute of it.
Except…
When you wrap your entire identity up in “work” – turns out you overwork yourself and eventually burn out. Who knew?
Plus – whenever I needed to shift out of “entrepreneur” mode to get a steady job…
Or go “all in” with one company and put all my side-hustles on pause…
Or simply slow things down to REST because life gets f-ing heavy sometimes….
I would immediately lose myself.
It happened enough times, that I finally hired a coach specifically to help me work through these identity issues.
My coach Malorie helped me do the deep work and answer scary questions like, “who am I if you take away all the business stuff?”
“What is my identity if I’m not building new offers, or coaching freelancers, or partnering with [insert big niche celebrity name here]”
Malorie and I talk a lot about identity, and also about abundance.
Because part of figuring out who you are, is saying “no” to a bunch of stuff that you’re using as a crutch to avoid dealing with the tough stuff. Distractions we allow into our lives to stay busy. To fill the void so you don’t have to sit with your shit.
And allowing myself to believe that the “missed” opportunities would always be there – that was a new way to look at abundance for me. (FOMO anyone?)
Because I’ve always had this superpower of pulling money or gigs out of my butt when I needed.
Find a new client…
Get a windfall from some previous venture or investment…
Get a lightbulb moment on a new product or partnership that results in a payday…
It always seems to magically appear when I need it most.
In the past I chalked up to having an “abundance mindset”
Sure – I get withdrawn and insulated sometimes and slip into “scarcity mode.”
I think we all do from time to time.
But generally, I live my life like there is an endless supply of money and opportunities out in the world – and I just gotta get in front of the ones that will get me what I want.
But that last part was the key….
KNOWING WHAT I WANT.
At the risk of the unleashing internet rage from all the crystal-loving, retrograde-worshiping, bathe-your-vagina-in-the-moonlight manifestation moguls…
I’d argue that the secret to attracting real abundance has little to do with “da vibes” and is more about seeking out one thing – Ultimate Clarity.
That means getting crystal clear about what you WANT…
About where you’re GOING…
About the impact you want to leave on the world (or not)…
About how you want to spend your precious time…
About your identity – meaning, who you are, and who you truly want to be.
(Easier said than done, ammiright?)
Because once you’ve got that clarity, then making decisions and figuring out where to spend your time and energy becomes WAY easier.
“No” quickly becomes your default answer.
Anything that’s not aligned with that clear vision obviously stands out as noise and distraction that you’ll eliminate.
Your focus narrows and you start to see resources and opportunities that will accelerate you toward that crystal clear vision.
It’s actually quite liberating.
Because even though it sounds woo – what you focus on, expands.
It’s not magic. It’s the power of living your life on purpose.
Oh, and the money part?
When you feel clear and confident about your identity, values, and what drives you…
That’s when business REALLY start to get fun.
It’s one of the main reasons I hired Malorie to help me work through my identity issues.
To help me figure out who I truly am and what I want – OUTSIDE of what I’m doing in business.
She usually only works with private clients, and only a few at a time.
But she’s just released her new book called The Abundance Decision.
It’s all about finding that intersection between a thriving business, and a fulfilling life – and finding that careful balance between the two.
It’s like a roadmap to walking through all the “deep work” we do in our coaching sessions together, like:
- Unlocking your true potential without disrupting your current life (because throwing grenades into your shit can be exhausting – who knew?)
- Feeling completely confident in your decisions by getting crystal-clear clarity on what you truly want
- Discovering who you REALLY are, and who you want to be
- Compounding and leveraging your energy so you’re only focused on meaningful, impactful pursuits that align with your values and long-term vision
- Finding peace and joy without sacrificing ambition (Coming from Ms. Type A herself over here… I can tell you that is a WHOLE new paradigm that’s been fun to play with)
I don’t get an affiliate commission for sharing it. I just think her work is important, and sorely needed by so many entrepreneurs like myself.
So check out Malorie’s new book The Abundance Decision here.
You won’t regret it.
Rachel
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